I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Responsible Drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.

If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.

I work until beer o’clock.

Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

I envy people who drink, at least they know what to blame everything on.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.