When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.

If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.

I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served.

I work until beer o’clock.

Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

I envy people who drink, at least they know what to blame everything on.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

Either give me more wine or leave me alone.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.