Either give me more wine or leave me alone.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

I envy people who drink, at least they know what to blame everything on.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer, there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.

Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.