Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

Either give me more wine or leave me alone.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer, there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.

Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

In wine there is wisdom, in beer, there is Freedom, in the water there are bacteria.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.

Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.