Stop buying things you don’t need to impress people you don’t even like.

I don’t pay good wages because I have a lot of money; I have a lot of money because I pay good wages.

You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

The way to stop financial joyriding is to arrest the chauffeur, not the automobile.

It is great wealth to a soul to live frugally with a contented mind.

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

I believe that thrift is essential to well-ordered living.

Money amassed either serves us or rules us.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “you only live once.

Saving money won’t get us rich. You have to spend it to get it.

We get married to have an ally against our family.

If you ran as much as your mouth did you'd be in good shape

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.

I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too.

I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire them.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.