Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

Bed is the perfect climate.

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

How was your flight? Well, aeronautically it was a great success. Socially, it left quite a bit to be desired.

Christmas is at our throats again.

Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you can

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?

Work is much more fun than fun.

Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.

Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.

Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it's impossible to breed anything.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.