There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality.

All saints have past and all sinners have a future.

Only entropy comes easy.

The more cultured a man, the less fortunate he is.

People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.

The illusion which exalts us is dearer to us than ten thousand truths.

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

You will not become a saint through other people's sins.

The task of a writer is not to solve the problem but to state the problem correctly.

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.

No man can discover his own talents.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

Most horror movies are certainly that.

Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn't affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.

Scream at God if that's the only thing that will get results.

Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.