It is a good deed to forget a poor joke

People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.

The illusion which exalts us is dearer to us than ten thousand truths.

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

You will not become a saint through other people's sins.

The task of a writer is not to solve the problem but to state the problem correctly.

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality.

Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.

No man can discover his own talents.

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

Most horror movies are certainly that.

Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn't affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.

Scream at God if that's the only thing that will get results.

Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.

He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.