Scream at God if that's the only thing that will get results.

The task of a writer is not to solve the problem but to state the problem correctly.

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality.

Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.

No man can discover his own talents.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

Most horror movies are certainly that.

Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn't affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.

Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.

He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.

An author's first duty is to let down his country.

To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.

God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.