There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.

An author's first duty is to let down his country.

To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.

God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.

Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.

I'm a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.

Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.

Every cripple has his own way of walking.

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.

If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

I ruined my health drinking to other people's.

Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it w

I speak my own sins; I cannot judge another. I have no tongue for it.