Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.

If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

But I don't give up; I forget why not.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I hate writing, I love having written.

I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.