I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white.

Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water, they were passed to get votes.

To me absurdity is the only reality.

I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated.

A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.

Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.

There's a big difference between kneeling and bending over.

I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss.

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.

Without deviance from normality, there can be no progress.

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

You know, people are basically shitty. It's when they prove it over and over again that it gets obnoxious.

It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.

The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of the Dark Ages.

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.