Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.

Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.

Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not.

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

Music is the only religion that delivers goods.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

I felt it shelter to speak to you.

I dwell in possiblities.

Love is anterior to life, posterior to death, initial of creation, and the exponent of breath.

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought.

Fortune befriends the bold.