Belief like any other moving body follows the path of least resistance.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.

Our minds want clothes as much as our bodies.

To give pain is the tyranny; to make happy, the true empire of beauty.

Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it shall perish by it.

There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death.

Prayers are to men as dolls are to children.

Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.

You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

Words are like money; there is nothing so useless, unless when in actual use.