Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.

The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.

One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

If we do not maintain justice, justice will not maintain us.

No pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage-ground of truth.