Sometimes I sit and think and other times I just sit.

If a man can beat you, walk him.

Don't go to college, unless to get knowledge.

Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.

With women you don't have to talk your head off. You just say a word and let them fill in from there.

I got a curve so sneaky it might be your daddy.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you get rained out.

My pitching philosophy is simple - keep the ball way from the bat.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. The home plate doesn't move.

If you tell a lie, always rehearse it. If it don't sound good to you, it won't sound good to anybody.

NO MAN CAN AVOID BEING BORN AVERAGE, BUT NO MAN HAS TO STAY AVERAGE.

I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible with my birth certificate. The goat lived to be twenty-seven.

You win a few, you lose a few. Some get rained out. But you got to dress for all of them.

What's scary in life is not what people know (or don't know), but what they know that isn't so.

Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Smile well and often, it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?