Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're going to try and win a pennant.

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.

The way our luck has been lately, our fellas have been getting hurt on their days off.

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.

I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.

Play every game as if your job depended on it. It just might.

Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.

Do you realize how good you have to be to strike out 2000 times?

If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.

I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.

It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.

We was going to get you a birthday cake, but we figured you'd drop it.

No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.

Most ball games are lost, not won.

Mr. that boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

We are a much improved ball club: now we lose in extra innings!

Without losers, where would the winners be?

I made up my mind, but I made it up both ways.