When you get arrested it's in big letters. When you get acquitted it's in small letters.

You can't start a diet in the middle of the week, that's just stupid.

They don't let many black people in the governor's mansion in Alabama, unless they're cleaning.

If somebody hits you with an object you should beat the hell out of them.

I don't mess with that cat. I'm pretty sure he carries a blade under his jersey.

I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

You can talk without saying a thing. I don't ever want to be that type of person.

I think you have an obligation to be honest.

It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.

There's nobody you'd rather beat than your good friend.

I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan.

Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.

People always say turn the other cheek. If you turn the other cheek, I'm gonna hit you in the other cheek too.

Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey.

I'm not paid to be a role model. I'm paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court.

I'm never embarassed.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas.