People always say he can run and he can jump. So can a deer and you wouldn't put a deer in the game.

There's nobody you'd rather beat than your good friend.

I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan.

Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.

People always say turn the other cheek. If you turn the other cheek, I'm gonna hit you in the other cheek too.

Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey.

I'm not paid to be a role model. I'm paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court.

I'm never embarassed.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas.

I have nothing against old people; I want to be one myself one day.

I was a Republican until they lost their minds

I don't care what people think. people are stupid.

Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money.

This is why I hate white people. You guys try to turn everything into a racial issue.

The meek may inherit the earth, but they wont get the ball from me.

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

I May Be Wrong but I Doubt It.

I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove.