I can't stand light. I hate weather. My idea of heaven is moving from one smoke-filled room to another.

When I work with young people, I grab energy from them by the hands.

What I like is bottomless flattery.

There's a remedy for everything except death.

Being sober for so many years is getting interesting.

The only thing I've ever been interested in teaching anyone in life is cricket.

Booze is the most outrageous of drugs which is why I chose it.

If you cannot say what you mean, your majesty, you will never mean what you say and a gentleman should always mean what he says.

And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be.

A victory? What have we won? We've won a rock in the middle of a wasteland, on the shores of a poisoned sea.

Marriage is forever. It's like cement.

I will not be a common man. I will stir the smooth sands of monotony.

George Eliot is my only steady girlfriend. We go to bed together every night.

The only exercise I take is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

I did quite enjoy the days when one went for a beer at one's local in Paris and woke up in Corsica.

There may be honor among thieves, but there's none in politicians.

I will not be an ordinary man, because I have a right to be extraordinary.

I was trained to be an actor, not a star.

My early days in Broadway were all comedies. I never did a straight play on Broadway.