There's a familiarity that sometimes shocks and annoys the hell out of me. People want a relationship with you that they haven't earned.

There's a familiarity that sometimes shocks and annoys the hell out of me. People want a relationship with you that they haven't earned.

Alan Arkin

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

The problem with this world is, everyone in it is 3 drinks behind.

The problem with this world is, everyone in it is 3 drinks behind.

Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains!

Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains!

There is more to talking than just words.

There is more to talking than just words.

Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.

Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.

Ain’t nothing a man can’t do if he believes in himself.

Ain’t nothing a man can’t do if he believes in himself.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.

'Catch-22' was a huge failure, and it rubbed off on everybody connected to it. I had a bunch of lean years where I had to do things, a lot of which I wasn't wildly enthusiastic about.

'Catch-22' was a huge failure, and it rubbed off on everybody connected to it. I had a bunch of lean years where I had to do things, a lot of which I wasn't wildly enthusiastic about.

I played guitar. I've always considered myself an actor, but I wasn't making a living as an actor. So I was in a couple of folk groups that managed to keep me in underwear and burritos.

I played guitar. I've always considered myself an actor, but I wasn't making a living as an actor. So I was in a couple of folk groups that managed to keep me in underwear and burritos.

You know what Andy Warhol's sole contribution to this country has been? He made Campbell's Soup a household word.

You know what Andy Warhol's sole contribution to this country has been? He made Campbell's Soup a household word.

If I'm doing a fake movie, it's gonna be a fake hit.

If I'm doing a fake movie, it's gonna be a fake hit.

Every physicist knows that things connect with each other. To isolate things is not the way the universe works - winning best actor is arbitrary.

Every physicist knows that things connect with each other. To isolate things is not the way the universe works - winning best actor is arbitrary.

No matter how much time you spend reading books or following your intuition, you're gonna screw it up. Fifty times. You can't do parenting right.

No matter how much time you spend reading books or following your intuition, you're gonna screw it up. Fifty times. You can't do parenting right.

I don't think it does the audience any good to know what I do to prepare. It keeps it more of a surprise. I don't feel like it has to be a mystery.

I don't think it does the audience any good to know what I do to prepare. It keeps it more of a surprise. I don't feel like it has to be a mystery.

I don't believe in competitions between artists. This is insane. Who has the authority to say someone is better?

I don't believe in competitions between artists. This is insane. Who has the authority to say someone is better?

My favorite kind of film is serious comedy. Comedy with serious underpinning.

My favorite kind of film is serious comedy. Comedy with serious underpinning.