Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

I acted like Cary Grant for so long that I became Cary Grant

If you want to be an actor, my advice is to learn your lines and don't bump into the other actors.

I have no plans to write an autobiography, I will leave that to others. I'm sure they will turn me into a homosexual or a Nazi spy or something else.

I'm a fatheaded guy, full of pain. It tore me up not having you.

It's better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones.

Dying's tough - but not as tough as comedy.

Ah, beware of snobbery; it is the unwelcome recognition of one's own past failings.

I improve on misquotation.

I suppose you might call me the sophisticated type. I like to act with dialogue. Not with grunts.

I may not have married for very sound reasons, but money was the least of them.

My father used to say, 'Let them see you and not the suit. That should be secondary.'

I really am a happy, amusing fellow at heart. Trouble is I seem the only one left.

A shot of brandy can save your life, but a bottle of brandy can kill you.

There must be something between us, even if it's only an ocean.

I'm prepared. I have a gun and I know how to shoot, and whoever comes calling without an invitation will get it in the rear end.

I think that making love is the best form of exercise.

Probably no greater honor can come to any man than the respect of his colleagues.

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order.