To see me as a person on screen would be one of the dullest experiences you could ever wish to experience.

Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.

That's not a chip on my shoulder, that's your foot on my neck.

I have more respect for a man who lets me know where he stands, even if he's wrong, than the one who comes up like an angel and is nothing but a devil.

Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.

You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.

If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.

A wise man can play the part of a clown, but a clown can't play the part of a wise man.

If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.

We don't want to start a nuclear war unless we really have to, now do we Jack?

I feel ghostly unreal until I become somebody else again on the screen.

You'll catch your death of cold. Clouseau: Yes, yes I probably will but . . . its all part of life's rich pageantry, you kneau.

Conversation like television set on honeymoon... unnecessary.

Is there anybody hiding there in the dark?

I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working.

If you ask me to play myself, I will not know what to do. I do not know who or what I am.

Women are more difficult to handle than men. It's their minds.

When you have been killed as many times as I have, you get used to it.

Facts - behind them lies the whole fabric of deductive truth.