I get all of my comedy from CNN.

Stop being perfect, because obsessing over being perfect stops you from growing.

You dont know someone until you know what they want.

You must lose everything in order to gain anything.

My mother was very, very Protestant. I grew up Presbyterian, and I went to church every Sunday until I was 18. I was forced to.

Why should I be feeling tension? It's The Daily Show.

This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

I don't feel rivalry. I'm the least competitive person you'll meet ever, to a fault.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

It looks like garbage, my ass. But trust me, you're lucky it's not full-frontal.