Roll back the clock, and every possession of every great country started with a crime.

President Obama seems to understand the Constitution as a 'set of suggestions.'

No one enjoys being equal.

Everybody makes their own fun. If you don't make it yourself, it isn't fun. It's entertainment.

The liberals in my neighbourhood wouldn't give away Brentwood to the Palestinians, but they want to give away Tel Aviv.

My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line.

All rhetorical questions are accusations.

As long as the protagonist wants something, the audience will want something.

I've always been fascinated by the picaresque.

I've always been more comfortable sinking while clutching a good theory than swimming with an ugly fact.

People only speak to get something.

To find beauty in the sad, hope in the midst of loss, and dignity in failure is great poetic art.

The greater the intellect, the more ease in its misdirection.

Welcome to Chicago. This town stinks like a whorehouse at low tide.

Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance.

It's hard to write a good play because it's hard to structure a plot. If you can think of it off the top of your head, so can the audience.

It is not the constitutional prerogative of the Government to determine needs.

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.

Anyone ever lost in the wild knows that nature wants you dead.