George Washington Bridge? You throw yourself off the Brooklyn Bridge, traditionally. George Washington Bridge, who does that?

Social Security's future has gotten worse, and each year we delay reform adds to the cost we are pushing off onto our children.

Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!

But I'm not as bad as Al Pacino - he doesn't even know what month it is half the time when he's working.

If you want to direct, you've got to work.

I'd like to come back because I really miss doing situation comedy.

When I was a kid, I loved Popeye, but the old ones, the real old ones.

Kids are at my level. I like goofing around with them.

Pardon me for loitering in front of an orchestra.

Basically, though, I'm just lucky to love what I do for a living.

Believe me, nobody likes to loaf more than me.

TV is the best babysitter.

I'm just a lazy boy. I'd rather sit in my recliner and act.

I don't need the bread, but it's nice to do something creative.

People just do the strangest things when they believe they're entitled. But they do even stranger things when they just plain believe.

If I don't trust [in] it, then it's worthless.

You’re entering a world of pain.

Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

The power of laughter & love would beat out the power of fear every time.