If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window.

People just do the strangest things when they believe they're entitled. But they do even stranger things when they just plain believe.

If I don't trust [in] it, then it's worthless.

You’re entering a world of pain.

Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

The power of laughter & love would beat out the power of fear every time.

When I was young, we couldn't afford much. But, my library card was my key to the world.

What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.

And if there is sweeter music this side of heaven I haven't heard it.

I was mad at the time, or I would never have done the thing.

Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?

I don't feel qualified to talk about my work.

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will be, because it's too natural to do.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd.

Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter.

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.

Society mends its wounds. And that's invariably true in all the tragedies, in the comedies as well. And certainly in the histories.