I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

Joe Pesci

I've been married three times, but I'll never forget my first trip as a young man, on my honeymoon, with my new wife.

I've been married three times, but I'll never forget my first trip as a young man, on my honeymoon, with my new wife.

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill.

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill.

Ah, I don't do interviews, really.

Ah, I don't do interviews, really.

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

A winner forgets he's in a race, he just loves to run.

A winner forgets he's in a race, he just loves to run.

You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.

You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

You win, you win. You lose, you still win.

You win, you win. You lose, you still win.

You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run.

You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run.

I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?

I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?

Kids are coming out earlier and earlier - some, as young as twelve now - and schools need to take that into account.

Kids are coming out earlier and earlier - some, as young as twelve now - and schools need to take that into account.

There are not many things in my life I can be absolutely proud of or certain I got right, but one of them is that I've got better as an actor. I've learnt how to do it. And I still have enough energy to do it.

There are not many things in my life I can be absolutely proud of or certain I got right, but one of them is that I've got better as an actor. I've learnt how to do it. And I still have enough energy to do it.

What I particularly like about Broadway is the camaraderie and the friendship of other people in other shows. Everybody knows you're opening and cares about you. There's a real village atmosphere.

What I particularly like about Broadway is the camaraderie and the friendship of other people in other shows. Everybody knows you're opening and cares about you. There's a real village atmosphere.

The audience's expectations are ever-present.

The audience's expectations are ever-present.

The performance is created by the director. The actor is the material. And I think that has to be true.

The performance is created by the director. The actor is the material. And I think that has to be true.

There's no sex in Middle Earth.

There's no sex in Middle Earth.

All other areas of my life, I'm hopeless. I can't even be certain how to boil an egg.

All other areas of my life, I'm hopeless. I can't even be certain how to boil an egg.

My acting stopped being about disguise and became about truth which suits the camera, so my film career took off when I came out.

My acting stopped being about disguise and became about truth which suits the camera, so my film career took off when I came out.