I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.

You have to have lived some life. You've got to have paid some dues.

There's a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at.

Why get killed when you can run ... your ego will heal much faster than a broken jaw.

Friends take up time, and I didn't have time.

Crosses only scare vampires away because they're allergic to bullshit.

I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.

There's a lot more hypocrisy than before. Racism has gone back underground.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

If I ain't horny, I check to see if my heart's beatin'.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

It's been a struggle for me because I had a chance to be white and refused.

I'm slower and some days are better than others, but I'm a fighter.

I urge you to ask yourself just how honorable it is to preside over the abuse and suffering of animals.

Who you gonna believe-me or your lying eyes?

Have you ever noticed how quiet you get when you go in the woods? It's almost like you know that God's there.

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude.

Everyone carries around his own monsters.

I see people as the nucleus of a great idea that hasn't come to be yet.