I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.

Without religion, I believe that learning does real mischief to the morals and principles of mankind.

Mothers and schools plant the seeds of nearly all the good and evil which exists in the world.

A simple democracy is the devil's own government.

Without Virtue there can be no liberty

I have alternately been called an Aristocrat and a Democrat. I am neither. I am a Christocrat.

The Bible contains more knowledge necessary to man in his present state than any other book in the world.

Freedom can exist only in the society of knowledge. Without learning, men are incapable of knowing their rights.

Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.

He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father." He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples." He nice, the Jesus.

I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.

This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.

Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as cute.

I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.

I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.

We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.

What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.