Author: Jim Gaffigan
See all Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Romantic Happy New Year Messages
Happy New Year Wishes
Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
Gyms are always packed. The only machine available is the one that simulates the gynecological exam. You know, the Sharon Stone machine.
It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!
One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.
You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!'
Love Quotes & Messages
Sad Quotes & Messages
Breakup Quotes & Messages
Angry Quotes & Messages
Love Status in Hindi
Sad Status in Hindi
Attitude Status in Hindi
Alone Status in Hindi
Good Night Status in Hindi
Good Morning Status in Hindi
Mahakal Status
Radhe Krishna Status
Birthday Messages
Birthday Messages for Mom
Birthday Messages for Dad
Birthday Messages for Friends
