Author: Jim Gaffigan
See all Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Good Night Messages for Wife
It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!
You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!'
When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
Love Quotes & Messages
Sad Quotes & Messages
Breakup Quotes & Messages
Angry Quotes & Messages
Love Status in Hindi
Sad Status in Hindi
Attitude Status in Hindi
Alone Status in Hindi
Good Night Status in Hindi
Good Morning Status in Hindi
Mahakal Status
Radhe Krishna Status
Birthday Messages
Birthday Messages for Mom
Birthday Messages for Dad
Birthday Messages for Friends
