You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!' - Jim Gaffigan quotes

You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!'

Author: Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan Quotes - I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

Author: Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan Quotes - Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!

Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!

Author: Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan Quotes - One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

Author: Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan Quotes - When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.

When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.

Author: Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan Quotes - Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?

Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?

Author: Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan Quotes - Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.

Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.

Author: Jim Gaffigan

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