The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.

Life is a four-letter word.

There are never enough I Love You's.

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.

Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

We are the protagonists of our love story, not the spectators.

I've never gotten hired for drama because I'm a good improviser. I don't think people who write drama scripts want you playing with them as much.

You cant be controlling in improv.

I'm more of a fisherman as opposed to a scientist perhaps and chasing the whale. But I've had some success.

I guess I'm sort of spoiled because, most of the things that I get to do, people know that you're a good improviser, so they allow you at least one improv take, and for comedy, that's great.

Children are entitled to life. We conceive them and so we owe them our care and our protection. This may not be a dictate of law anymore, but it is a dictate of love.

Anyone who believes in a Jesus who condones abortion does not believe in the real Jesus, and therefore is not Christian.