I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips quotes

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Author: Emo Philips

See all Emo Philips Quotes

Emo Philips Quotes - I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.

Author: Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quotes - Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.

Author: Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quotes - I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

Author: Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quotes - I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

Author: Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quotes - The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.

The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.

Author: Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quotes - Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

Author: Emo Philips

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