My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. - Emo Philips quotes

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

Author: Emo Philips

See all Emo Philips Quotes

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.

The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

Love Quotes & Messages

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Angry Quotes & Messages

Love Status in Hindi

Sad Status in Hindi

Attitude Status in Hindi

Alone Status in Hindi

Good Night Status in Hindi

Good Morning Status in Hindi

Mahakal Status

Radhe Krishna Status

Birthday Messages

Birthday Messages for Mom

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Birthday Messages for Friends