You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists. - Emo Philips quotes

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

Author: Emo Philips

See all Emo Philips Quotes

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

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