I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them. - Emo Philips quotes

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.

Author: Emo Philips

See all Emo Philips Quotes

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

Don't wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?

Don't wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?

I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.

I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.

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