You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.

People search for certainty. But there is no certainty.

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.

There is beauty and humility in imperfection.

All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.

Without patience, there can be no genius.

Humility isn’t denying your strengths; it’s being honest about your weaknesses.

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

There is one word that describes people that don't like me: Irrelevant.

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.