Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.

I like women. I don't understand them, but I like them.

Nothing is impossible, only mathematically improbable.

Some age. Others mature.

I take the good with the bad. I can't love people in slices.

I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.

only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

When you create you get a little endorphin rush. Why do you think Einstein looked like that?

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

You know what music is - a harmonic connection between all living beings.

Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Why do they call it "rush hour" when nothing moves?

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

You need a touch of madness, just enough that you don't become stupid!

There are no rules. Just follow your heart.