I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller quotes

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Author: Phyllis Diller

See all Phyllis Diller Quotes

Phyllis Diller Quotes - I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.

I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Author: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes - I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

Author: Phyllis Diller

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