I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too. - Mitch Hedberg quotes

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

See all Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly.

When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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