Is a hippopotamus or just a really cool Optimus?

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.

Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

There isn't much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it.

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them