Is a hippopotamus or just a really cool Optimus? - Mitch Hedberg quotes

Is a hippopotamus or just a really cool Optimus?

Author: Mitch Hedberg

See all Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like,

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes - I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

Kin Hubbard Quotes - Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Author: Kin Hubbard

Kin Hubbard Quotes - Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

Author: Kin Hubbard

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