Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves. - Johnny Carson quotes

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

Author: Johnny Carson

See all Johnny Carson Quotes

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.

Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

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