The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. - Johnny Carson quotes

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Author: Johnny Carson

See all Johnny Carson Quotes

Johnny Carson Quotes - Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Author: Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson Quotes - Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

Author: Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson Quotes - Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.

Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.

Author: Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson Quotes - For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

Author: Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson Quotes - When turkeys mate they think of swans.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

Author: Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson Quotes - What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

Author: Johnny Carson

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