Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success.

Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.

A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.

They did not know it was impossible so they did it

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.