Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started

Some of the worst things in my life never even happened.

There is no security in life, only opportunity.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.