I think when I feel I'm at my best is when I'm on stage, and it's my version of jazz because it's just riffing or something.

I'd like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.

There's only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

Don't give up your power.

I always was a performer, from the time I was little. It was always a natural place for me to be.

At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis.

I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.

If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.

The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.

Great news! Hosting Oscars counts five hours toward my community service!

I'm married - I've caught my limit.

When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.