True contentment is not having everything, but in being satisfied with everything you have.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.

If you cannot prove a man wrong, don't panic. You can always call him names.

What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise

Simple pleasures are the last healthy refuge in a complex world.

History is a lie commonly agreed upon.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

The best way to enjoy your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Cats are put on earth to remind us that not everything has a purpose.

With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

The only one you need in your life is that person who shows you he needs you in his.

A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.

To look at a thing is very different from seeing it.

To define is to limit.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.