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Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee. - Sarcastic Quotes

Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.

Sarcastic Quotes

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Romantic Good Night Messages

Romantic Good Night Messages

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Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too.

Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too.

I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire them.

I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire them.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.

Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

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